There’s a New Bird On The Scene
February 20th, 2008 Posted in UncategorizedThe election season is upon us once again. The rabble have largely dropped out of the race and we’re left with just a few candidates. Let’s review what we have.
On the Big Government side we have Senator Barrack Obama, Senator Hillary Clinton, Senator John McCain, and Goveror Mike Huckabee.
I gotta say I really like the name Barrack Obama, it just rolls off the tongue,although it sounds better as “Brock.” But what’s the deal with that last name? Was his father Barney Rubble’s son? O Bam Bam!
When it comes to Hillary I only have one question: what made her think that using RMS’s stylist would be a good idea. I mean how hard is it to have decent hair, John Edward’s stylist probably has openings!
John McCain has always seemed like a decent guy, but he sorta creeps me out. Remember Star Wars? I think it was the second one, where Darth Vader is unmasked at the end. Think of that image then look at John McCain, creepy.
Running a distant fourth, we’ve got Mike Huckabee. This guy has got a name problem. I say his name and I figure his running mate is gonna have to be Gomer Pyle. That name is just too red-neck.
Now we Americans love Big Government, we like government comin’ out of our ears. So I’d say we got some pretty good choices already. But I know there are some of you folks out there (maybe a dozen of ya) that have actually read the Constitution and understand what was intended and you’re Small Government types. For you we can only offer up Representative Ron Paul, running an even more distant fifth.
The downside with Ron Paul is that he used to be a doctor and he has blood on his hands, literally. Do you want him touching all our important papers?
So who am I? I’m Tux. And I’m throwing my hat into the ring. I might as well, I can’t keep the thing on my silly head.
What do I stand for? Just one thing: Linux. Oh yeah, and fish. I want to put a Linux computer in every home, every office, every garage, every hotel room… if there’s a flat surface somewhere I want to put a Linux computer there. Oh yeah, and a fish in every pocket, so that nobody ever has to compute hungry ever again.
Repeat after me: go Tux, Go Tux, GO TUX!!!!
7 Responses to “There’s a New Bird On The Scene”
By Fake Linus Torvalds on Feb 27, 2008
Finally, someone I can support. I’m taking this time to become your second official endorser.
By Tux Penguin on Feb 28, 2008
Great, endorsements, real or fake are what we need around here, and don’t forget about the fish. I am a bit confused though, who was the first to endorse me? Can I endorse myself?
Sorta reminds me of the old Groucho Marx line: I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
By joe lee on Feb 28, 2008
Congressman Ron Paul is still in the race for president but you fail to acknowledge that. Is it an oversight, or are you being like the mainstream corporate media, and just wishing for him and his supporters to just go away?
They call him ” DR. NO ” in Washington because the lobbyists can not get to him. After honestly checking his record; it is plain that he would be the very best choise to be our next President!!
By Tux Penguin on Feb 28, 2008
Ahhh, Mr Lee maybe you need to take a refresher course at Eveyln Wood’s: read the 7th and 8th paragraphs, Representative Ron Paul is mentioned.
Of course, I’m still the bird of choice, but if I weren’t I’d throw my fish to Ron Paul.
By Jason Corfman on Mar 3, 2008
Ever since I became old enough to vote, I have been waiting for a presidential candidate that I can endorse. Finally, I have one!
Any chance we might be able to get some web banners/buttons that supporters can put on our websites? Or do you give us permission to make our own?
By Anonymous on Mar 21, 2008
Why are you using Tux for your political agenda?
This is not going to make Linux more popular, it will just drive away prospective Linux users if you bash their political views.
I also have a hard time finding how Linux relates to the political views expressed on this site.
This is not the kind of attention Linux should be getting, this makes Linux seem desperate to expand its user base.
By Delroyni on Mar 25, 2008
nice work, man