Tux For President

Small Bird Makes Last Big Splash

Haven’t blogged for a long time, wasn’t getting a lot of response so it took the fun out of it.

Just back to say so-long, it’s been a tough campaign but it’s time to throw in the towel. You can still use me as a write-in candidate if you like, but we can all see where this is going: we’re gonna elect another in a long line of idiots who think they can borrow and spend us into prosperity. But the rooster (a fowl cousin of mine) is coming home to roost as we’re seeing daily as the world slides into economic chaos. Monetary inflation just went exponential, the Fed is talking about lending money to small businesses, next they’ll be lending money to Penguins (wait, that could be good).

The time has come not for change but for revolution! But don’t be looking to me to lead, I’ll be off writing device drivers sipping a cool one on what’s left of the polar ice caps.

Tux

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Back From Stumping

Just got back from stumping. An activity that has special meaning for somebody that’s only 3 feet tall (without the hat) and shaped like a rolled up sleeping bag. Since I last examined the opposition things have changed a bit. Huckabee is gone and McCain is the man for the Republicans. The perennial candidate, Ralph Nader has *yawn* joined the fray and is touring the country his 1965 Corvair.

The real excitement though is with the Democrats, the fight continues between Hillary and Barrack. Next time I get in a bar fight, I think I want Hillary on my side, she never gives up. Rumors abound that her recent resurgence may be due to Republicans voting for her in the primaries because they think she’ll be easier to beat in the general election than Barrack. Sounds like something from the Microsoft play-book to me.

Here at Tux Party we never stoop to such tactics, we just talk Linux and fish. Once in a while we get a bad apple on the team, but we’re quick to 12-step them and get them back on track.

The future is coming up fast and it ain’t pretty, you can change it, vote for the Tux Party.

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Q&A With Senator John McCain On Key Technology Issues

Republican presidential candidate Senator John McCain talks with TechCrunch’s Michael Arrington about technology issues important to this year’s presidential elections. McCain is said to be embarrassed by Yahoo’s actions in China and also calls Google to the mat.

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Q&A With Senator Barack Obama On Key Technology Issues

Democratic presidential candidate Senator Barack Obama (official site), talks with TechCrunch’s Michael Arrington to answer technology-related policy questions.

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Free Stickers

Send us a self addressed, stamped envelope and we’ll return a couple of stickers to get you in the campaign mood.

and

Send envelopes to:

Tux Party
c/o Linux Journal
P.O. Box 980985
Houston, TX 77098 USA

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There’s a New Bird On The Scene

The election season is upon us once again. The rabble have largely dropped out of the race and we’re left with just a few candidates. Let’s review what we have.

On the Big Government side we have Senator Barrack Obama, Senator Hillary Clinton, Senator John McCain, and Goveror Mike Huckabee.

I gotta say I really like the name Barrack Obama, it just rolls off the tongue,although it sounds better as “Brock.” But what’s the deal with that last name? Was his father Barney Rubble’s son? O Bam Bam!

When it comes to Hillary I only have one question: what made her think that using RMS’s stylist would be a good idea. I mean how hard is it to have decent hair, John Edward’s stylist probably has openings!

John McCain has always seemed like a decent guy, but he sorta creeps me out. Remember Star Wars? I think it was the second one, where Darth Vader is unmasked at the end. Think of that image then look at John McCain, creepy.

Running a distant fourth, we’ve got Mike Huckabee. This guy has got a name problem. I say his name and I figure his running mate is gonna have to be Gomer Pyle. That name is just too red-neck.

Now we Americans love Big Government, we like government comin’ out of our ears. So I’d say we got some pretty good choices already. But I know there are some of you folks out there (maybe a dozen of ya) that have actually read the Constitution and understand what was intended and you’re Small Government types. For you we can only offer up Representative Ron Paul, running an even more distant fifth.

The downside with Ron Paul is that he used to be a doctor and he has blood on his hands, literally. Do you want him touching all our important papers?

So who am I? I’m Tux. And I’m throwing my hat into the ring. I might as well, I can’t keep the thing on my silly head.

What do I stand for? Just one thing: Linux. Oh yeah, and fish. I want to put a Linux computer in every home, every office, every garage, every hotel room… if there’s a flat surface somewhere I want to put a Linux computer there. Oh yeah, and a fish in every pocket, so that nobody ever has to compute hungry ever again.

Repeat after me: go Tux, Go Tux, GO TUX!!!!

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