February 20th, 2008 by Tux Penguin Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments »
The election season is upon us once again. The rabble have largely dropped out of the race and we’re left with just a few candidates. Let’s review what we have.
On the Big Government side we have Senator Barrack Obama, Senator Hillary Clinton, Senator John McCain, and Goveror Mike Huckabee.
I gotta say I really like the name Barrack Obama, it just rolls off the tongue,although it sounds better as “Brock.” But what’s the deal with that last name? Was his father Barney Rubble’s son? O Bam Bam!
When it comes to Hillary I only have one question: what made her think that using RMS’s stylist would be a good idea. I mean how hard is it to have decent hair, John Edward’s stylist probably has openings!
John McCain has always seemed like a decent guy, but he sorta creeps me out. Remember Star Wars? I think it was the second one, where Darth Vader is unmasked at the end. Think of that image then look at John McCain, creepy.
Running a distant fourth, we’ve got Mike Huckabee. This guy has got a name problem. I say his name and I figure his running mate is gonna have to be Gomer Pyle. That name is just too red-neck.
Now we Americans love Big Government, we like government comin’ out of our ears. So I’d say we got some pretty good choices already. But I know there are some of you folks out there (maybe a dozen of ya) that have actually read the Constitution and understand what was intended and you’re Small Government types. For you we can only offer up Representative Ron Paul, running an even more distant fifth.
The downside with Ron Paul is that he used to be a doctor and he has blood on his hands, literally. Do you want him touching all our important papers?
So who am I? I’m Tux. And I’m throwing my hat into the ring. I might as well, I can’t keep the thing on my silly head.
What do I stand for? Just one thing: Linux. Oh yeah, and fish. I want to put a Linux computer in every home, every office, every garage, every hotel room… if there’s a flat surface somewhere I want to put a Linux computer there. Oh yeah, and a fish in every pocket, so that nobody ever has to compute hungry ever again.
Repeat after me: go Tux, Go Tux, GO TUX!!!!